A Mother’s worry

My sis is expecting a baby, after trying for some months! 

Both sis and bro in law were so excited especially for my bro in law who loves kids very much!  The good news was marred by the fact that sis is not having enough of the necessary hormones thus was spotting a bit.  Doc prescribed hormones pills and injections and thank God she is getting better.

Doc also advised sis to go for a new test that will be able to tell whether baby is normal or not.  It is a new routine test that is much more accurate than the triple blood test.  Sis is then worried about the results. 

Every parent-to-be gets worried about the unborn child in the womb.  Is he/she going to be OK?  Physically?  Mentally?  Emotional?  I guess that the mom-to-be worries much more just because she is carrying the baby within her.  By this time, most mothers I know will not care whether the baby is boy or girl as long as they are healthy and fine.  So when each of my 3 kids were born, the first thing I said to hubby was,”Dear, can you check for me that the baby has all those that she/he should have?  Like 10 fingers, 10 toes etc…  I am just thankful that they are normal.

The kids are no longer new born and yet I continue to worry about them.  Are they eating enough nutrious food?  Are they drinking enough water?  Are they sleeping well/enough?Are they happy?  Are they well?  Are they learning new things everyday?  Are they developing as well as their peers?  Is the air con too cold?  Is the sun too hot?   The list goes on and on. 

I spoke to my mom and was surprised to hear that she is still worried for all her 5 kids though we are so grown up already!!  When we were schooling, she was worried for our school ressults.  When we graduated, she was worried whether we can find jobs.  When we became someone’s wife, she is worried whether we are getting along with husband / mother in law.  When we became parents, she is worried that we are not taking good care of ourselves.  She is worried that her daughters cannot cope with the new born child.  She is worried that our work is too stressful for our own good etc….

When I shared that I am considering to be a full time mom, she is worried that we may not be able to cope financially.  She is also worried that I may get too bored or get too frustrated staying home with three monkeys all the time.  And for her, the list goes on and on. 

“Mom, I am already a mother of three.  Please have some faith in me!”, I cried out.  And she replied calmly,” I know.  But as a mother yourself, you will understand that a mother’s worry will never end.   The list of worries goes on and on.  It will continue even when the child is grown up, even when the child becomes a mom. ”

Suddenly I realized that it is very true.  A mother’s worry doesn’t end when the child reaches 18 or 21.  Or when the child becomes someone’s wife/husband.  Or when the child becomes a parent herself/himself.  It continues and no matter what, in the eyes of the moms, their child will always remain as their child whom they will constantly worry about. 

Hmmmm….  Food for thought, maybe I should take a more relaxed attitude with the kids since there is a long way of worried ahead!

Confused Elkan

Elkan being the youngest and the only boy at home (besides the big boy daddy), gets a bit confused about what is expected of him as a boy.

When I put pink hair clips or pink ribbons for his two older sisters hair, he will find some for himself and plonk on my lap and expects me to do the same for his short hair. 

“No, Elkan!  You are a boy and boys don’t have hair clips on their hair!”  Ariel would inform Elkan, clearly amused as she tries not to laugh!

But he would insist that I put them on him and would proudly ran and show to Daddy! 

Or he will carry some girlie handbag that belongs to Kyla / Ariel and waved goodbye to us pretending that he is going to the market.  Here’s one that I know that he would die of shame when he sees it again at 12 years old.

Yet, I know that he is a boy through and through.  Given a whole box of toys, he will pick up the cars and balls only.  And he is not at all interested in the other types of pretend toys.   Here’s one when he was at the wheel and he is thrilled to bits!

And if you happen to see a blue Toyota Wish on the road, just be careful.  In case it is really a 20 months old at the wheel. 

Kiasu Mom

Many years back, when I heard colleagues discussing about enrichment classes for their kids, I promised myself that my kids will be able to enjoy their childhood and there will not be any enrichment classes for them.

But when Kyla reached K1, I was forced into facing the reality of Singapore education.  Early this year, she came back and told us that there will be spelling at school.  I was surprised but went along since the 3 words for the 1st spelling test looked harmless.  As the year progressed, the words became longer.  No longer 3 letter words, instead the spelling words became words in 3 syllabus, like grasshopper, papaya.  Then they became words in 4 syllabus like watermelon, praying mantis!!! 

The mommy became stressed and Kyla struggled to learn these words.  One morning, I called the teacher in charge and “complained” that the words are too difficult for K1 level.  And she answered coolly, “But the rest of the children are able to spell them, except Kyla!  Now she has only 5 spelling words and by end of K1, she would have 10 words for spelling every week” 

I was dumbfounded!!  And so started to search for some sort of english enrichment class for Kyla because it seems like she is not able to do as well as her peers.  I registered for Kumon lessons, phonics in additon to her usual drawing class that she enjoys. 

On the way to school one morning, I told her that she will be starting her Kumon classes and phonics next January.  And her reply was,”Huh?? So many?  I am tired already!!”

I know that it is going to be tiring for her.  But right now, I don’t have much choice, do I?  From what I heard, the primary 1 children are expected to do close passage, comprehension, composition and even problem sums. 

And I had turned into one of the Kiasu parents in Singapore!