Should I or should I not?

Thinking of returning work on a full time basis…  confused and more confused..  Felt that my kids don’t really need me to be there all the time, like now Kyla is at school and the two younger ones are playing happily by themselves.  I find myself reduntant especially at times like these..  I find that i am not providing value add when I give up my job to stay with them 24 by 7..  They actually “chased” me out of the room whenever I peeped to see what are they playing at..  I am more like a caregiver.  Cooking them meals, bathing them, bringing them to school etc.  Occassionally a hug here and there but even Elkan is growing out of the cuddly phase.  He is too impatient when I tried to hug him just a second longer than desired ( by him!)  He will wriggle away to play with the sisters..

So should I or should I not?

Playing God

Twice a year, I get to play God..  Remember when you were in school and teachers always comforted you when the national exams  were too hard that the examiners will do moderation?  Well, I have been upgraded and I get to play God too when it’s time to moderate the students school results..   Not enough As for the examination results, i add bonus points to those who are borderline Bs..  Not enough Ds, I “punished” the students by taking away their participation marks or their project marks so that they were downgraded to Ds..  Until the final statistics is “sui sui” with the standard number of As, Bs,Cs, Ds and of course you will need some failures as well to “show” that your subject got some standard one!  Oh man!  You may think it is so shiok to play God but I am telling you that the feeling sucks!!  Now I remember why I left the full time teaching profession many years back..  Now I am only a part time teacher and not as attached to the students..  maybe can ease some of the guilt.  But I really hate mucking around with somebody’s results..